Lately, things have been a little crazy in my world. So much so, that I haven’t been able to think about anything. But a few weeks ago, my brother made a comment on his Facebook status that has been bouncing around my head and been screaming for attention. He said, “We don’t have a lot of time on this earth. We weren’t meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.”
Yes brother, you are correct. We are not meant for that but we do what we have to do to survive. People do all kinds of dull, dangerous, menial, etc. etc. work all the time, because they have children or have a mortgage or a car payment or whatever.
As this statement, so sagely stated by my brother, bounced around in my mind, it intensified some of feelings that I have been experiencing in my professional life. Without getting into too much detail about it, there are always moments of frustration or futility that pop up even when working a dream job, and it has been true for me lately.
Today there was an epiphany as I drove home in my little Farheen-mobile. Today was the first day of spring, a beautiful day with temps in the 80’s, unheard of for Chicago in March. I was delayed from leaving work on time, which is not a problem for me. With things being the way they are these days, I am grateful for employment and have no issue with throwing in a couple of extra minutes here and there.
I left, rolled down the windows, cranked up the radio and drove off, a little driving dance party with a gal who has been thirsting for the sun on her face and the wind in her hair. And as I drove and rocked out to my friend Flo Rida, I found the answer for what has been bothering me about the comment my brother made. Which was this, if we are not meant to sit in cubes and stare at computer screens, what are we meant ro do? If we were to do what all the other animals do, why did we move away from that behavior?
If you think that I am going to reveal the meaning of life here, you would be mistaken. I will never have that answer. I don’t think anyone ever will.
What I realized is that people in corporate jobs have a tendency to be rigid, even when they think they are not. I myself have found that I clench my jaw and furrow my brow a great deal more than I used to when I was a younger woman.
As I listened to “Wild Ones” by Flo Rida and other similar songs as I drove home today, I realized I have lost what little of the “wildness” I have had in my life. I rarely feel as free as I felt when I was driving home. And while I do feel that this reaction of mine may just be the result of too much winter for a summer girl like me, I really feel that there is some universal truth in what I felt today. I was happy to be outside, in the sun breathing in fresh air as opposed to air conditioning and fluorescent lighting. The primal feeling of being a trapped animal is rearing it head in my soul. After all we are all animals, right?
So, to combat this feeling of being trapped in a cube in the middle of corporate America, I am going camping this summer. I haven’t been in the forest for a while. Maybe Michigan, Maybe Wisconsin, or Indiana. Nothing too extreme, like a campground with no showers or running water. I am not going to get carried away… It’s as wild as I am going to get without hitting the dance floor when Flo Rida is on. 😛